2011-04-27 09:59:16

BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Breaking News! Obama Delivers and Scolds! Birthers Plotz! Country Yawns!

Filed under: Birth, Featured
Posted by: Purple State of News

President Barack Obama was born on August 4, 1961, in the city of Honolulu on the island of Oahu in the great state of Hawaii. How do we know? His birth certificate, now available as a PDF file at the White House website, says so.

What more is there to say on the subject? It hardly seems like a productive use of time to wave a finger at Orly Taitz and say, “I told you so.” Anyone with half a brain looked at Orly Taitz two years ago and knew she was born to back a ridiculous cause. If she believed Obama was born in Kenya, guaranteed he was born in Hawaii.

And if that weren’t enough proof, Donald Trump reanimating the corpse of the controversy should have sealed the deal.

What’s the lesson here? When evaluating a controversy, don’t forget to examine the hair of the people generating it. That’s what we in the media business call a tell.

More credulous, less judgmental souls required evidence, however, and now we have it. Time to move on?

Obama believes so. He took the opportunity of the birth certificate release to chastise the press for wasting time on this issue. We’ve excerpted his comments below:

“And so I just want to make a larger point here. We’ve got some enormous challenges out there. There are a lot of folks out there who are still looking for work. Everybody is still suffering under high gas prices. We’re going to have to make a series of very difficult decisions about how we invest in our future but also get a hold of our deficit and our debt — how do we do that in a balanced way.

And this is going to generate huge and serious debates, important debates. And there are going to be some fierce disagreements — and that’s good. That’s how democracy is supposed to work. And I am confident that the American people and America’s political leaders can come together in a bipartisan way and solve these problems. We always have.

But we’re not going to be able to do it if we are distracted. We’re not going to be able to do it if we spend time vilifying each other. We’re not going to be able to do it if we just make stuff up and pretend that facts are not facts. We’re not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers.

We live in a serious time right now and we have the potential to deal with the issues that we confront in a way that will make our kids and our grandkids and our great grandkids proud. And I have every confidence that America in the 21st century is going to be able to come out on top just like we always have. But we’re going to have to get serious to do it.

I know that there’s going to be a segment of people for which, no matter what we put out, this issue will not be put to rest. But I’m speaking to the vast majority of the American people, as well as to the press. We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We’ve got better stuff to do. I’ve got better stuff to do. We’ve got big problems to solve. And I’m confident we can solve them, but we’re going to have to focus on them — not on this.”

Comments (3)

3 Comments »

1. I think I saw Orly Taitz at a drag bar on Wilkinson Boulevard last night.

   Comment by John Syme — April 27, 2011 @ 1:26 pm

2. Never believe anyone whose hair is less plausible than her argument.

   Comment by Purple State of News — April 27, 2011 @ 2:01 pm

3. All this time and I never thought of the hair thing. Thanks, you’ve changed everything about how I analyze my world from now on.

   Comment by Liz Joyner — April 27, 2011 @ 2:55 pm

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